In the past, on the 4th of July, I have spent my evening in the basement of my house.
I'm not the first Vet to do this and I doubt I will be the last.
However, this year, I decided to make my P.T.S.D.-my bitch.
This year I made up my mind to take my kids to a 4th of July BBQ, let them enjoy fireworks, and I was going to survive it all.
Just an FYI... I did survive.
Right after I came home from Afghanistan my wife and I went to Las Vegas. While there, I was told we were going to watch a Pirate Show. I was on the sidewalk, watching hot girls dressed in clothes I doubt any self-respecting pirate would wear, when a cannon went off next to me.
Needless to say I didn't take it well.
Since then, I have not handled the large explosions of life with grace. (That is to say: all the large explosions outside of my bedroom. Inside my bedroom is a different thing.)
Anyway, I just realized that my actions became habit. I didn't want to be eighty-years-old and realize that I missed watching my daughter's eyes light up as they watched the night sky fill with color. I also knew that I didn't want to wake up one day and realize that I didn't even try.
So this year I tried.
The firecrackers going off in the neighbors yard wasn't my favorite thing, I will admit that, but I got out my basement. So I guess that's a step in the right direction.
C.M. Moore is the pen name for a retired soldier, and a romantic at heart. After Connor was blown up in Afghanistan and received a purple heart, he began writing with his wife. Connor’s first book 1:05 a.m. is a mixture of love, sex, and action. If you want to contact him send him a message. He loves messages!