Reflections on the 4th

     ​In the past, on the 4th of July, I have spent my evening in the basement of my house. 
     I'm not the first Vet to do this and I doubt I will be the last. 
     However, this year, I decided to make my P.T.S.D.-my bitch. 
    This year I made up my mind to take my kids to a 4th of July BBQ, let them enjoy fireworks, and I was going to survive it all. 
     Just an FYI... I did survive. 
     Right after I came home from Afghanistan my wife and I went to Las Vegas. While there, I was told we were going to watch a Pirate Show. I was on the sidewalk, watching hot girls dressed in clothes I doubt any self-respecting pirate would wear, when a cannon went off next to me. 
     Needless to say I didn't take it well. 
     Since then, I have not handled the large explosions of life with grace. (That is to say: all the large explosions outside of my bedroom. Inside my bedroom is a different thing.) 
     Anyway, I just realized that my actions became habit. I didn't want to be eighty-years-old and realize that I missed watching my daughter's eyes light up as they watched the night sky fill with color. I also knew that I didn't want to wake up one day and realize that I didn't even try. 
     So this year I tried. 
     The firecrackers going off in the neighbors yard wasn't my favorite thing, I will admit that, but I got out my basement. So I guess that's a step in the right direction. 
     

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